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The obvious way to start building self-esteem

Last updated on 2023.06.11

Many subscriber questions and issues that come up in my advisory work relate to the same thing – self-respect, self-esteem, self-first or whatever you call it in your neck of the words these days.

Gravitas doesn’t mean just gravity – attractiveness, pull, comeliness. Gravitas is also about the attitude and substance of how you relate to yourself and take care of yourself.

People routinely struggle and suffer for lack of self-assertiveness until the day they meet the shovel or the crematorium laddie. It’s a lifelong millstone around your neck when you do not have “it”.

The cheapest, simplest and easiest way to start building genuine self-respect and confidence is to start taking care of your appearance.

It is up to you to ignore it, underestimate it or forget it. After all, it is a well-known fact that the lo-awarenes mass do not value what they get for free and rarely act on it.

Slacking off is always easier.

Or is it?

When I was young, I used to dress like a slob, even though I mostly cared about how I looked.

Nobody taught me how to dress well and have style. I had to do it entirely by myself. By the time I actually read some books on the subject, most of it was already old news for me.

People will always judge you by your appearance first.

It is not that you do not know this already – the words – but that you do not even begin to realize how deep that rabbit hole goes, how it shapes your entire life regardless of what “profound” work you do.

I say this without the slightest hint of exaggeration. I’m pretty sure I underestimate the effect, too.

Your style of dress is a powerful way to affect people around you and LEAD them.

I will not go into the details of that. There is enough material in there for a fracking book. Leading with your dress style is extremely powerful, and still it’s the less powerful aspect of style.

The hidden value in cultivating a personal style of dress is in the “inner game” that you can explore and develop as you work on what to wear and how.

Cultivating class and style in clothing is a powerful way to learn to LEAD YOURSELF.

Especially if you are fracking clueless about how to lead yourself.

Especially if you think that clothing is “superficial” or “unimportant” or whatever your choice semantics to justify your laziness are today.

The world is flat. You are exactly what you seem to be.

Get out there and who yourself into the world in all your shining colors.

I will be opening a new round of client applications soon.

Until then, join the community of supporters at or

Go forth and conquer,


Your Daemon

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