Last updated on 2023.06.20
It’s Father’s Day this Monday in the United States.
Listicles are lazy but reminders are good for the soul.
Some principles serve well at every stage in life.
Today I share 21 things I wish my father had taught me by the time I left my parents’ home when I was 21.
#1. Work in vain, don’t just wait in vain.
What seems worthless now becomes vital experience down the line. Developing a strong work ethic is more valuable than any substantive skill. Passivity is one of the worst habits you can develop. Movement is essential to health and success.
#2. Don’t be funny.
Learn to command respect even if you’re making a joke. Don’t act like a clown if you want to be treated like a king. Self-deprecating jokes, especially, are a sign of a big ego avoiding conflict with reality.
#3. Life isn’t fair and you get exactly what you deserve.
See things as they are, not as you wish they were. The sooner you accept the circumstances you face, the more power you have to change them. Self-pity doesn’t look good on anyone, it drains your energy and it leaves you spirit shot. You won’t get far if you look for fairness.
#4. Act boldly and decisively without being a jerk.
When you have decided to make a move, take action without timidity and worry. Boldness doesn’t mean arrogance and recklessness. It means no doubt about ourselves and no fear of the consequences.
#5. Aspire for the best, prepare for the worst.
Think about what you really want before you think about what’s possible and how it could be done. Have a strong foundation (money, network, skills, physical fitness), so you can handle the risk of failure. Don’t be a gambler, be a leader.
#6. Get out of you comfort zone and do hard things.
Even if you fail, you can learn something from it. Grit has value all its own. Challenge yourself so the world doesn’t have to challenge you. Doing hard things is exhilarating!
#7. Money is freedom; save as much as you can as early as you can without being a miser.
Money will solve most of the petty problems that distract you from what you really want out of life.
#8. Home is sacred.
Treat your home as a temple, even if you have to live in utter misery. Treat domestic chores as sacraments. Maybe you cannot uplift your home with material things, but you can elevate it in spirit. You own spirit will be elevated in turn.
#9. Ask for help, what you need and what you want.
Don’t wait for an invitation, and don’t be ashamed to ask when you don’t know something. You don’t have to do everything by yourself. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time. People can’t read your mind, and have no obligation to do so. You make people feel more invested when you get help tn when you provide it.
#10. Take action on the small things even if you don’t have a clear plan.
Action is revealing in process and results. Don’t waste precious time trying to optimize and anticipate every little thing along the way. Parse into small steps and bust a move. As you start moving, you get more clarity about the path forward and what else needs to be done.
#11. Take initiative and don’t ask for permission.
“The truth is usually seen, rarely heard.” By the time you get everyone on board, you could be halfway there. Most people are even more afraid of action and change than you are. If you wait on them to take initiative, nothing will ever get done – and what gets done will be tortured and half-baked.
#12. Focus on one thing at a time and do it well.
Don’t try to be a smartmule and find a shortcut to everything. When you set out to do something, do it really well, then move on to the next. Reputation for excellence is precious, but more than anything this builds Character and determination that will serve you for life. Embrace the process and take pleasure in completing your work.
#13. Manners maketh man.
Your bad manners can ruin the effect of everything else you do. Conversely, good manners can help you save your reputation in a pickle and allow you to get away with mistakes others couldn’t. Elevate your Character in the eyes of others. You good manners will often protect you from making enemies unintentionally.
#14. Better appear slightly foolish than overly smart.
People’s egos will get in your way anyway. Don’t make your life more difficult than it has to be by triggering their resentments and insecurities.
#15. Always have the relationship in the back of your mind.
Is this worth arguing about? What do you have to gain from being right? Even if you impose your version of things, is that worth the damage to the relationship? How can you show this person that you genuinely care? Ask yourself if what you’re about to say will harm the relationship more than it will do any good.
#16. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t.
Save your energy for action to change your situation in a positive way. Energy is precious, and should not be wasted on what you’d rather not have in your life. You dislike something about yourself and your situation? What’s the POSITIVE path away from this? What will you be working TOWARDS? Get at it.
#17. Subjugate your ego and don’t get defensive or arrogant.
Learn to show humility and kindness, especially when you have the upper hand. Defensiveness only makes you look weak and out of control. Let people think they won if you’ll get what you want anyway. People are more likely to follow you willingly and less likely to resist you when you don’t brute-force your will and don’t brandish your superiority.
#18. Work out and keep the body in top shape.
Working out, martial arts, any physical exertion teaches you resilience and discipline. As body becomes iron, mind becomes steel. More than everything, physical fitness will make you feel more inspired and motivated.
#19. Have a purpose that moves you.
You won’t last in any endeavor if your only motivation is to make more money. Whatever you decide to do, be sure to have a WHY that will keep you going when the going gets hard.
#20. Don’t make promises unless you know you will keep them.
Nothing will ruin your reputation, family, relationships and business faster than the accumulation of broken promises. Worse, it will undermine your trust in yourself.
#21. Show, don’t tell.
Do not speak of your plans and intentions unless absolutely necessary. Don’t explain yourself when you’re doing the right thing unless absolutely necessary. Show the results, show your work only when absolutely necessary.
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Your Daemon
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